Celebrating Alone
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 @ 11:59 PM
I never had a lame Christmas before. Sure, there were obviously years when I might have gotten pissed off because of—gee, I d'know—people calling me fat or sickening fruit cake or a sip of champagne that made me want to throw up. But I never had boring Christmases, not one in my life.
But this year is just complete shit.
I know I didn't really care much when my mom said we wouldn't have a Christmas tree. I was seriously indifferent to that, because anyway, people would be over at our place and it'd be fun—with or without a tree. But when I found out just some minutes ago that literally no one else from the family was coming over to celebrate Christmas here... well.
That's when I got pretty pissed (though I didn't show it), and I decided to rant about it in my blog.
And for Chrissake, I'm using the computer on Christmas Day. This is literally how I am going to spend my Christmas—just like what I've done every other night of this boring Christmas vacation.
If anything, at least I have consolation of the brightest idea I can come up with on how I'm going to enjoy Christmas (though by myself, but whatever): I will brew myself a warm and satisfying cup of country blend coffee and read a pleasant Jane Green book and listen to Claire de Lune over and over again from my iPod. It sounds lame, and I won't deny it really is, but at least it's something. Something more than this shit-hole noche buena (can you even call it that?) and the lame and alive-but-dead rest of my family. At least I'll feel comfort in my aloneness, and as they say:
Books remind us that we are not alone in this world.
Coffee. Books. Music. Considering everything, what more can I really ask of a good night?
In Terms of Music
Tuesday, December 23, 2008 @ 11:57 AM
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. - Albert Einstein
Recently, I've been dreading to have my piano lessons due to my utter lack of practice and motivation. I've been so obsessed with reading (Second Chance by Jane Green) and writing (my future novel, hopefully) lately that I haven't been practicing. It also didn't help that I've only been playing miscellaneous songs not for my lesson—i.e., stuff composed by Carter Burwell, Yiruma, and Coldplay.
So just a while ago, I accidentally left my Variations on the Canon sheet music on the piano (composed by Yiruma, I think) when it was my lesson. It's a pretty tricky piece, and I haven't gone past the second page yet. Anyway, my teacher saw it, and we tried playing it together—see how it sounds and all.
Before you knew it, she made that part of my lesson, haha—obviously, that got me pretty happy since I'll be able to play it with formal practice and all that.
And it seems pretty weird, but I'm motivated to practice now. HAHA.
Epic Failure
Friday, December 19, 2008 @ 9:38 PM
An education ... [is] being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. - Anatole France
If I could have my way, these would be my top college education choices:
1. University of the Arts, Philadelphia
2. Dartmouth College
3. California State University, East Bay
4. College for Literature, Science, and the Arts (University of Michigan)
5. Ateneo de Manila University
6. De La Salle University
7. University of Santo Tomas
But I can't actually have my way, can I? Let's review that list again.
1. University of the Arts, Philadelphia
2. Dartmouth College
3. California State University, East Bay
4. College for Literature, Science, and the Arts (University of Michigan)
5. Ateneo de Manila University
6. De La Salle University
7. University of Santo Tomas
And so basically, I've lose more than half of my future because I am the biggest sucker in the world who is going to epically fail at life—and I mean, literally epically fail. (I fucking hate Geometry and I pray to God—if he so exists—that I may notnotnot acquire a D for the third quarter. And no, I am not kidding.)
If anything, I can just take mastery/graduate programs abroad.
Procrastination
Monday, December 15, 2008 @ 7:51 PM
Learning is like moving upstream; not to advance is to drop back. - Anonymous
I have SUCH a horrible study system. I have been studying for three hours now, and I need to finish four fat, lengthy chapters of European history: Chapters 9, 15, 16, and 18. (That's not even including the handouts on literary theories and problematiques and thesis statements and objectives for English.) But so far.
I'm still in Chapter 9.
And, God, I'm not even done yet. Out of the three sections in Chapter 9, I'm merely starting with 9.3. I did the arithmetic: I found out that I spent one and a half hours for just ONE section of ONE chapter. Plus I started studying late, about four to five -ish in the afternoon. I had to fetch my nephew/godson and sister, clean my room, review the English project, fill up my [late] Filipino MQR, finish my [late] CL project. On top of that, I almost always have to make this reviewer thing when I study, and so the writing takes up time, especially since I get really freakishly neat and obsessive-compulsive when I outline. (Yes, I use the formal outline to make my reviewers.)
And so I ask myself:
Why the HELL am I blogging right now?
I think it's something called:
...
PROCRASTINATION.
Screenwriting
Sunday, December 14, 2008 @ 3:16 AM
If we cannot do what we will, we must will what we can. - Yiddish proverb
I know it's overly ambitious and probably impossible, but I was in a state of serious-confusion-about-my-future again, so I started looking through possible courses. So far, I had outlined five.
1. European studies - Is a United Nations diplomat possible?
2. Journalism - I'll go to Zimbabwe and see what Mugabe's up to.
3. Medicine - Only because my dad and sister suggested.
4. Law - HAHA, no way. But I thought about it because of my mom.
5. English literature - ... but what am I gonna do with that anyway?
So then, I pretty much had given up: I had no future. (HAHA, okay. That's exaggerating. I probably would have decided to take up some general course like economics or something before I would seriously decide.) But then after a few minutes, I looked at that lengthy "About Me" section of my blog and I saw the word "screenwriting".
So then I thought: Huh, not bad. Screenwriting didn't compromise my love of writing, and it would give me the opportunity to explore film art. (Oh I do love the movies.) Plus, it wasn't all words. It had some mechanical technicality to it - good for me, since I'm not all stylistics and the likes of it. And I don't think screenwriter is as lengthy as novelist or something. It might - might - be kind of easier.
So then I checked the websites of Ateneo and La Salle for screenwriting courses. Um, none. They don't even have journalism. Again, I felt like giving up. Again, no future. But as if like lightning, another spark of ambition ran into my mushy brain. I remembered something. It was called the University of the Arts.
... in Philadelphia.
And they totally had it: A major program in Writing for Film and Television. They had great preps. Courses like film history, video production, screenplay analysis, screenplay adaptations, and eventually a senior internship for media.
But not that it's bad enough this tempting major is in UARTS Philadelphia across the freaking Pacific Ocean, paying for a college education in UARTS would be like my father buying me five Audis, costing 45 fucking thousand dollars a year. That's way more than two million pesos if you include some allowance and estimate. So then I've got four Audis; the fifth one is for my personal expenses like my house or apartment or condo or whatever, and my food and transportation and all that.
BUT NOT LIKE MONEY MAKES THIS THING WORST - I am actually and seriously considering this. I am completely serious about being a screenwriter - hard to make some money out of it, I'm sure, but it's seems so... me. It seems like a "me" kind of career, "me" kind of lifestyle, and... well, I really want to pursue it.
So I am seriously dropping everyone off my Christmas list now. I'm saving up for college.
Incompetence
@ 12:44 AM
If you want a thing done well, do it yourself. - Napoleon I
I like words.
Do you know what my favorite words are?
Substantial.
Essential.
Transcendent.
Timeless.
Clooney.
But you know what my least favorite word probably is? Incompetent.
I don't know what's worse, to simply be part of an incompetent group or to lead it. Because either way, it's fucking annoying. Did I give specific guidelines? - yes. Was I reasonable about time? - yes. When you give everything to your group-mates, you'd think it would already be so easy for them. They just had to FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES.
But then. No. They don't. They go fuck everything up despite everything already laid out. And am I mean by ranting about this? - well, yes. To be frank, I can be the biggest bitch in the world when people disappoint me, frustrate me, fail me. But do I have the right to rant, at least so much as blogging? - yes, I do. I'm not mentioning anyway; it's not like I believe they deserve public bashing. I just needed to let it out: They just go fuck and fuck and fuck everything up, despite everything already laid out.
Celebrating Alone
Wednesday, December 24, 2008 @ 11:59 PM
I never had a lame Christmas before. Sure, there were obviously years when I might have gotten pissed off because of—gee, I d'know—people calling me fat or sickening fruit cake or a sip of champagne that made me want to throw up. But I never had boring Christmases, not one in my life.
But this year is just complete shit.
I know I didn't really care much when my mom said we wouldn't have a Christmas tree. I was seriously indifferent to that, because anyway, people would be over at our place and it'd be fun—with or without a tree. But when I found out just some minutes ago that literally no one else from the family was coming over to celebrate Christmas here... well.
That's when I got pretty pissed (though I didn't show it), and I decided to rant about it in my blog.
And for Chrissake, I'm using the computer on Christmas Day. This is literally how I am going to spend my Christmas—just like what I've done every other night of this boring Christmas vacation.
If anything, at least I have consolation of the brightest idea I can come up with on how I'm going to enjoy Christmas (though by myself, but whatever): I will brew myself a warm and satisfying cup of country blend coffee and read a pleasant Jane Green book and listen to Claire de Lune over and over again from my iPod. It sounds lame, and I won't deny it really is, but at least it's something. Something more than this shit-hole noche buena (can you even call it that?) and the lame and alive-but-dead rest of my family. At least I'll feel comfort in my aloneness, and as they say:
Books remind us that we are not alone in this world.
Coffee. Books. Music. Considering everything, what more can I really ask of a good night?
In Terms of Music
Tuesday, December 23, 2008 @ 11:57 AM
If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. - Albert Einstein
Recently, I've been dreading to have my piano lessons due to my utter lack of practice and motivation. I've been so obsessed with reading (Second Chance by Jane Green) and writing (my future novel, hopefully) lately that I haven't been practicing. It also didn't help that I've only been playing miscellaneous songs not for my lesson—i.e., stuff composed by Carter Burwell, Yiruma, and Coldplay.
So just a while ago, I accidentally left my Variations on the Canon sheet music on the piano (composed by Yiruma, I think) when it was my lesson. It's a pretty tricky piece, and I haven't gone past the second page yet. Anyway, my teacher saw it, and we tried playing it together—see how it sounds and all.
Before you knew it, she made that part of my lesson, haha—obviously, that got me pretty happy since I'll be able to play it with formal practice and all that.
And it seems pretty weird, but I'm motivated to practice now. HAHA.
Epic Failure
Friday, December 19, 2008 @ 9:38 PM
An education ... [is] being able to differentiate between what you do know and what you don't. - Anatole France
If I could have my way, these would be my top college education choices:
1. University of the Arts, Philadelphia
2. Dartmouth College
3. California State University, East Bay
4. College for Literature, Science, and the Arts (University of Michigan)
5. Ateneo de Manila University
6. De La Salle University
7. University of Santo Tomas
But I can't actually have my way, can I? Let's review that list again.
1. University of the Arts, Philadelphia
2. Dartmouth College
3. California State University, East Bay
4. College for Literature, Science, and the Arts (University of Michigan)
5. Ateneo de Manila University
6. De La Salle University
7. University of Santo Tomas
And so basically, I've lose more than half of my future because I am the biggest sucker in the world who is going to epically fail at life—and I mean, literally epically fail. (I fucking hate Geometry and I pray to God—if he so exists—that I may notnotnot acquire a D for the third quarter. And no, I am not kidding.)
If anything, I can just take mastery/graduate programs abroad.
Procrastination
Monday, December 15, 2008 @ 7:51 PM
Learning is like moving upstream; not to advance is to drop back. - Anonymous
I have SUCH a horrible study system. I have been studying for three hours now, and I need to finish four fat, lengthy chapters of European history: Chapters 9, 15, 16, and 18. (That's not even including the handouts on literary theories and problematiques and thesis statements and objectives for English.) But so far.
I'm still in Chapter 9.
And, God, I'm not even done yet. Out of the three sections in Chapter 9, I'm merely starting with 9.3. I did the arithmetic: I found out that I spent one and a half hours for just ONE section of ONE chapter. Plus I started studying late, about four to five -ish in the afternoon. I had to fetch my nephew/godson and sister, clean my room, review the English project, fill up my [late] Filipino MQR, finish my [late] CL project. On top of that, I almost always have to make this reviewer thing when I study, and so the writing takes up time, especially since I get really freakishly neat and obsessive-compulsive when I outline. (Yes, I use the formal outline to make my reviewers.)
And so I ask myself:
Why the HELL am I blogging right now?
I think it's something called:
...
PROCRASTINATION.
Screenwriting
Sunday, December 14, 2008 @ 3:16 AM
If we cannot do what we will, we must will what we can. - Yiddish proverb
I know it's overly ambitious and probably impossible, but I was in a state of serious-confusion-about-my-future again, so I started looking through possible courses. So far, I had outlined five.
1. European studies - Is a United Nations diplomat possible?
2. Journalism - I'll go to Zimbabwe and see what Mugabe's up to.
3. Medicine - Only because my dad and sister suggested.
4. Law - HAHA, no way. But I thought about it because of my mom.
5. English literature - ... but what am I gonna do with that anyway?
So then, I pretty much had given up: I had no future. (HAHA, okay. That's exaggerating. I probably would have decided to take up some general course like economics or something before I would seriously decide.) But then after a few minutes, I looked at that lengthy "About Me" section of my blog and I saw the word "screenwriting".
So then I thought: Huh, not bad. Screenwriting didn't compromise my love of writing, and it would give me the opportunity to explore film art. (Oh I do love the movies.) Plus, it wasn't all words. It had some mechanical technicality to it - good for me, since I'm not all stylistics and the likes of it. And I don't think screenwriter is as lengthy as novelist or something. It might - might - be kind of easier.
So then I checked the websites of Ateneo and La Salle for screenwriting courses. Um, none. They don't even have journalism. Again, I felt like giving up. Again, no future. But as if like lightning, another spark of ambition ran into my mushy brain. I remembered something. It was called the University of the Arts.
... in Philadelphia.
And they totally had it: A major program in Writing for Film and Television. They had great preps. Courses like film history, video production, screenplay analysis, screenplay adaptations, and eventually a senior internship for media.
But not that it's bad enough this tempting major is in UARTS Philadelphia across the freaking Pacific Ocean, paying for a college education in UARTS would be like my father buying me five Audis, costing 45 fucking thousand dollars a year. That's way more than two million pesos if you include some allowance and estimate. So then I've got four Audis; the fifth one is for my personal expenses like my house or apartment or condo or whatever, and my food and transportation and all that.
BUT NOT LIKE MONEY MAKES THIS THING WORST - I am actually and seriously considering this. I am completely serious about being a screenwriter - hard to make some money out of it, I'm sure, but it's seems so... me. It seems like a "me" kind of career, "me" kind of lifestyle, and... well, I really want to pursue it.
So I am seriously dropping everyone off my Christmas list now. I'm saving up for college.
Incompetence
@ 12:44 AM
If you want a thing done well, do it yourself. - Napoleon I
I like words.
Do you know what my favorite words are?
Substantial.
Essential.
Transcendent.
Timeless.
Clooney.
But you know what my least favorite word probably is? Incompetent.
I don't know what's worse, to simply be part of an incompetent group or to lead it. Because either way, it's fucking annoying. Did I give specific guidelines? - yes. Was I reasonable about time? - yes. When you give everything to your group-mates, you'd think it would already be so easy for them. They just had to FOLLOW THE GUIDELINES.
But then. No. They don't. They go fuck everything up despite everything already laid out. And am I mean by ranting about this? - well, yes. To be frank, I can be the biggest bitch in the world when people disappoint me, frustrate me, fail me. But do I have the right to rant, at least so much as blogging? - yes, I do. I'm not mentioning anyway; it's not like I believe they deserve public bashing. I just needed to let it out: They just go fuck and fuck and fuck everything up, despite everything already laid out.
Introduction
Greetings and salutations
Just to properly say hello, um, hello! xD I'm Carissa, and this is my blog, Realcardbored, some random name I picked up because I couldn't think of anything else. I'm 16 years old, born on October 31, and living in the Philippines. The rest of me can be better explained below.
Currently
This very minute
Song: Exogenesis Symphony by Muse
Artist/Band: Rachael Yamagata
Album: The Resistance (Muse)
Film: The Brothers Bloom
Television: Glee
Book: William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar
Person: Matthew Bellamy
Quote: "Dream on, but don't imagine they'll all come true. When will you realize? Vienna waits for you." - from the song 'Vienna' by Billy Joel
Passions
Beyond hobbies
Film. Whoever said that cinema was just for entertainment? It's art. I aspire to become a film director some day, and hopefully I can live the rest of my life with that as my permanent career.
Literature. I mostly read drama novels, like those from authors Jodi Picoult and Alice Sebold, but I also like some fantasy ones (i.e., Harry Potter).
Music. From Beethoven to Lady Gaga to Rage Against the Machine, music is my religion. I play the piano as well, and I'm pretty OC about sound quality. I need good earphones and a kickass sound system.
Travel. With this, I wish I could get more of it, but I savor every moment. I've been to the United States, Singapore, Japan, Thailand, and Hong Kong. I hope to tour South Africa, Egypt, and several countries in Europe.
Gender equity. Women's equality and gay rights are just long overdue, and the world has got a long way to go.
Favorites
Of significant range
Music: Muse, U2, The Beatles, Coldplay, Phoenix, Santana, Michael Jackson, Vampire Weekend, Rage Against the Machine, Eric Hutchinson, Amy Winehouse, Adele, Duffy, jazz, classical
Film: Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist, Pride and Prejudice, Juno, The Devil Wears Prada, Iron Man, Up, The Brothers Bloom, Good Will Hunting, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Mrs. Doubtfire, Finding Neverland, Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
Television: American Idol, Project Runway, House, Glee, Gossip Girl, Ellen
Books: The Lovely Bones, Skylight Confessions, My Sister's Keeper, The Time Traveler's Wife, Cyrano de Bergerac, Confessions of a Shopaholic, Shopaholic Takes Manhattan, Shopaholic Ties the Knot, Remember Me?, Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
Thespians: Johnny Depp, James McAvoy, Ralph Fiennes, Robert Downey Jr., Mark Ruffalo, Ricky Gervais, Clive Owen, Adrien Brody, Will Smith, Morgan Freeman, Kate Winslet, Jodie Foster, Helena Bonham-Carter, Ellen Page, Saoirse Ronan, Susan Sarandon, Anne Hathaway, Amy Adams
Directors: Joe Wright, Jason Reitman, Martin Scorsese, Peter Sollett, Edward Zwick
Wishlist
Keeping track
» To pass the ACET
» New iPod case
» New headphones
»
New cellphone
» Showbiz album by Muse
» Origin of Symmetry album by Muse
» Absolution album by Muse
» HAARP album by Muse
» Black Holes and Revelations album by Muse
» The Resistance album by Muse
» Leonard Maltin's 2010 Movie Guide
» Hungarian Dances by Jessica Duchen
»
The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde
» Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist DVD
Film list
Superabundance!
[4/5]
About Schmidt
[4/5]
Adventureland
[n/a] Annie Hall
[4/5]
The Brother's Bloom
[n/a] Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs
[n/a] Dr. Strangelove
[n/a] Everyone Says I Love You
[n/a] The French Connection
[4/5]
Garden State
[5/5]
Goodfellas
[4/5]
Harry Potter 6
[4/5]
He's Just Not that Into You
[5/5]
The Hurt Locker
[4/5]
I Love You, Man
[n/a] Lolita
[n/a] Margot at the Wedding
[n/a] Moon
[n/a] My Father's Glory
[n/a] My Sister's Keeper
[n/a] The Piano
[4/5]
The Proposal
[n/a] Public Enemies
[n/a] Rain Man
[n/a] A Room with a View
[n/a] Schindler's List
[n/a] The Silence of the Lambs
[2/5]
The Soloist
[n/a] Somewhere in Time
[n/a] St. Elmo's Fire
[n/a] State of Play
[3/5]
Sunshine Cleaning
[n/a] Taxi Driver
[3/5]
The Time Traveler's Wife
[5/5]
Up
[n/a] Up in the Air
Tagboard
Comments and other matters
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