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Work to Live
Friday, February 27, 2009 @ 1:35 PM

Misdirected focus on paperwork, on procedures, and on bureaucracy frustrates teachers and fails to give children the education they need. - Christopher Bond

My life is presently revolving around all the paperwork. I literally want to die because of it, and the only way to escape writing this paper is either to fail miserably or die happily. I feel seriously suicidal at times, times which last for just about thirty seconds, but the grimness stays with me forever. I can't live well because of this paper for English, and even if we, the students, were given time to write it—and I know it was time I should have spent on actually writing it—it's just not fair.

It's not fair that this paper is robbing me of life, life that I should be spending on listening to music or playing the piano, watching monochrome pictures and reading Jane Eyre, not because they don't demand anything, but because they let me live life the way I want to. It's a selfish personal wish, but how can anyone live if their focus is just to work? And just as importantly, how can anyone work if what they do hinders them from life?

I want to work to live, and not the other way around. But the way that the work is being presented to us in school feels as if we have to sacrifice living in order to succeed in our work. We have to sacrifice living because we can only succeed if we put away the things that make us feel alive—music, the piano, motion pictures, and books.

It's not fair that they give us methodical ways to work, because not everyone is the same. I just found out two days ago that I work better by not starting with a problematique, a thesis statement, objectives, and an outline. I want to write the actual paper first, because that way my thoughts are editable. I can see them on paper, and not just guess from a fifty-word sentence what I think these stories mean. Even if the paper doesn't make any sense at first, at least I can see what I actually want to say. It's easier to try to write the paper first than create an inference based on something we're not even too sure will work out—and then we're all gonna have to start over if it doesn't.

At least they could have just given their methods as guides, but we don't necessarily have to follow them or submit them. But again, the only way to succeed is to sacrifice the way we want to live. The way I wanted to live was my own way, but they tell you at the school that their ways are better, and since this is a fucking institution that has some of the highest standards at face value, and more significantly, an institution that indirectly tells you that you're stupid because of the numerical system of grading, you have to do it their way. Their way is how to get a grade, no matter what you want to do.

In this fucking institution, you're constrained to these things. It's like you're being tied to a pole and the only way to get out is by using their knife, when what you want to use are your teeth. It sounds stupid, but at least you get to try things your own way, live your own way. You're not shoved imperative worksheets to your face until you find out which way works better for you.

It's not fair that everything in this school makes you want to die, because all you live for is your work.

My Oscar Ballot
Sunday, February 22, 2009 @ 5:24 PM

I totally ripped this off from a recent Time magazine issue, but I left out the categories about sounds, documentaries, and short films since, well duh, I don't know much about those, lol. And I know I didn't watch everything (haha!), but this is all just for fun! 8D

BEST PICTURE
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button—Ew, really? I hated Button.
> Frost/Nixon
> Milk
> The Reader—My second pick!
> Slumdog Millionaire—A one-in-a-million film!

BEST ACTOR
> Richard Jenkins
> Frank Langella
> Sean Penn
> Brad Pitt—Ew. He was just pretty in this dumb movie.
> Mickey Rourke—I couldn't decide between Penn and Langella, lol! And it's an awesome comeback story! xD

BEST ACTRESS
> Anne Hathaway—She was pretty good.
> Angelina Jolie—Nawww.
> Melissa Leo
> Meryl Streep—Good, but not compared to Winslet.
> Kate Winslet—YESYESYES!

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
> Josh Brolin
> Robert Downey Jr.—I love you, RDJ, but this has to go to the Joker.
> Philip Seymour Hoffman—Hoffman was great, but not as riveting as Ledger.
> Heath Ledger—Do I really have to say? (RIP, Heath Ledger.)
> Michael Shannon—Actually Oscar-winning, I think. Second to Ledger. 8D

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
> Amy Adams—She fit well in this, actually.
> Penelope Cruz—I don't want, but I think she'll win, waaahhh.
> Viola Davis—Absolutely stunning.
> Taraji P. Henson
> Marisa Tomei

BEST ANIMATED FEATURE
> Bolt
> Kung Fu Panda
> Wall-E—Okay, um. I haven't actually seen it, but I'm convinced it'll win anyway! xD

ART DIRECTION
> Changeling
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button—Well it does deserve something. xD
> The Dark Knight—I don't know about art for this one.
> The Duchess—Costume, yes. But art, maybe not so much.
> Revolutionary Road—Good contender.

MAKEUP
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button—Second pick!
> The Dark Knight—I think this is here only because of the Joker. o_O
> Hellboy II: The Golden Army—It was visually awesome, dudez.

CINEMATOGRAPHY
> Changeling
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
> The Dark Knight
> The Reader
> Slumdog Millionaire—Hands down!

COSTUME DESIGN
> Australia—Would be the second choice.
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
> The Duchess—The only true costume drama in the bunch!
> Milk—LOL, for what, their polos? xD
> Revolutionary Road—I love you, but you don't deserve costume. xD

BEST DIRECTOR
> David Fincher—Not your best work, Fincher. Such disappointment.
> Ron Howard—I was confused with this, and The Reader.
> Gus Van Sant
> Stephen Daldry—Second pick! I do love you!
> Danny Boyle—No doubt Boyle will take this!

FILM EDITING
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
> The Dark Knight
> Frost/Nixon
> Milk
> Slumdog Millionaire—It's Slumdog, of course it'll win, lol! xD

ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button—I CAN'T believe it's in THIS category! D8
> Doubt—Not that great for this.
> Frost/Nixon
> The Reader—The ending wasn't good.
> Slumdog Millionaire—Simon Beaufoy was pure genius.

ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
> Frozen River
> Happy-G0-Lucky
> In Bruges
> Milk
> Wall-E—For this to be a silent film script, I think this is a major achievement.

ORIGINAL SONG
> "Down to Earth"—Awesome song, though.
> "Jai Ho"—Okay uh, I changed my mind, HAHA! Love this song! xD
> "O Saya"

ORIGINAL SCORE
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Alexandre Desplat—Second pick.
> Defiance, James Newton Howard
> Milk, Danny Elfman
> Slumdog Millionaire, A.R. Rahman—You go, Rahman, ILY!
> Wall-E, Thomas Newman

VISUAL EFFECTS
> The Curious Case of Benjamin Button—Well it's got to have this, right? xD
> The Dark Knight
> Iron Man

Revolutionary Road was so snubbed, I hate it! D8

The Sad World
Saturday, February 21, 2009 @ 1:39 PM

All too often we are giving young people cut flowers when we should be teaching them to grow their own plants. - John W. Gardner

Well I haven't written in a long time, haven't I?

So things have been happening—some good, some bad—and I unfortunately have learned, in the span of merely two hours yesterday afternoon, that so many good teachers are leaving Miriam. And no, I'm not just talking about those are those, um, 'wala lang' teachers. The kind of teachers who obviously don't like teaching, or are just horrible at it.

I knew that Miss Castillo was leaving MC for some time, and when she told the class, I wasn't really surprised because she obviously deserves better; she's too good for just teaching, though she will be horribly missed. I think that Miss Castillo, as Maybel had put it, taught the class more things outside of English than about it. At the end of the day, she really taught everyone how to think. Not just the plots of Lord of the Flies and Wuthering Heights or the messages of "Funeral Blues" and "Shield of Achilles", but more than that. She taught us about justice, prejudice, society, and all the sides and moral ambiguities of each.

And then I found out Sir Antiquera is leaving too? It's kind of unthinkable; it's hard to imagine MC without him. He's like a staple on campus, almost as if he just should be there. I was genuinely looking forward to having him as a teacher, despite the scariness sometimes. He's truly articulate in everything, and he seems like a really good teacher, you know? So fun and smart and, um, bald and all, I d'know.

And yet it doesn't stop there (sad world, isn't it?) because Sir Alano and Sir JD are leaving too. I mean, seriously? Well I can understand Sir JD since he's going to be a priest and stuff which is really cool, and I have just the highest respects for people like him who totally commit to something they really believe in and are so passionate about. But Sir Alano? Well I wasn't as shocked as some other people, where "some other people" is equal to "entire student body", but I'm just as horrified. And for him to say his reason for leaving is that he wants to put up a cellphone business ... um, no. I mean, I unfortunately believe him since I don't think Sir Alano can ever lie (lol), but there's more to it somehow. And Sir Alano is just too smart for a crappy cellphone business! He was like, number two in something for Biology or whatever. Nuuu, Sir Alano, nuuuuuu!

Remember to Breathe
Tuesday, February 10, 2009 @ 7:12 PM

Ya gots to work with what you gots to work with. - Stevie Wonder

It feels nice to be able to blog again. After a week of academic and prom-related shitload, I feel like I can finally relax, like I finally remembered to breathe.

Although I know there are still a lot of tasks to fulfill, some of them I'm actually excited for. Basically those are the non-academic projects, like stuff for Teacher's Day, the class jacket (Marxista! Structuralista! Feminista! Artista!—lol.), and what Karen has entitled "The Obama Project", or "Project Obama", whichever came first. I think I'm also kind of excited for the Investigatory Project Exhibit. I admit I'm still quite in shock knowing that my group's IP was selected for the exhibit since, okay, it was pretty crappy. But then again we had an okay concept, I think, and I'm obviously proud of everything we've done. I think the group worked seriously hard, and we do deserve it in that sense.

Aside from all that, I saw some pretty good movies recently, like The Reader and In Bruges. I also saw Cadillac Records and Body of Lies, which unfortunately weren't that good, but they weren't so bad.

Oh yeah, and prom. It was definitely fun, with all the dancing and the photography and dinner, but it was actually pretty short. I was expecting just a little less than epic or epic itself for the junior prom, but it was sadly ordinary; you just wear a better dress. (Gah, I wanted to after-party.)

In Memory of the Piano
Monday, February 2, 2009 @ 7:49 PM

Music is everybody's possession. - John Lennon

I often ask myself why classical music is so important to me. Is it because it is cool since the genre is "exclusive" to some people? Those who play instruments or who are born into specific families or those who are rich? Is it because I merely want to play an instrument to show others that I can? Is it because I like knowing something that other people don't? Is it because I lack a sense of fulfillment and have nothing else to do, so I choose to occupy my time with this? With music?

In truth, I didn't know how to answer, because I admit that at some point or another, I did answer a "yes" to all of those questions. No doubt about it. But I knew that that wasn't it—not the exclusivity, the superiority, or the occupancy of time; because if it was, then I would have already quit, again.

I wouldn't feel the way I do when I play or listen, if those were the reasons that classical music became part of me. I wouldn't take the time to read about the composers and their respective works. I wouldn't examine the sounds and brands of different pianos. I wouldn't waste money and paper and ink on my sheet music. Not that much, anyway.

And so right now, I don't know. I don't know why classical music is so important to me, and I believe that that's partly because I am just a beginner, and the other part is that I don't exactly know what it completely makes me feel. Alive? Amazed? Intimidated? I don't know; perhaps all of them. Perhaps the feelings that contain me when I involve myself in classical music are just too strong and inexpressible to encapsulate into words that it overwhelms me to think and to ask what is the importance of music?

It makes me free.