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College Matters
Monday, June 8, 2009 @ 4:03 PM

Forget regret, or life is yours to miss. - from Rent

I submitted my UPCAT forms today—and that one statement in itself is a million other stories.

I chose BA Psychology and BA European Languages; first and second choice respectively. I thought immensely and intently about my courses, and for quite some time, I had previously chosen courses which everyone agreed upon because they were the safe routes for a confused, aspiring college student like me—but that's where I went wrong.

Because I don't want to take up Economics or a business course because I hate it. I don't want to take up Physical Therapy because I don't want to be a doctor. I don't want to take up Political Science because I don't want to be settled with taking up law, or being a politician.

And with choices like those, I'll always be unsure. I'll always doubt if I can go anywhere, if I can make it, if I'll like myself for choosing what I did twenty-some years from now. But with Psychology and European Languages, oddly enough for other people, I'm sure. Of course I have doubts, everyone does, but I feel settled and secure with wanting to study people and languages for the rest of my college life. And more importantly, I want it. I want it, and I'm happy with it.

After I submitted my UPCAT forms, I felt a tremendous weight lifted off my shoulders, and yet there was still a certain heaviness, a different heaviness, that I felt pull me down. Part of it, surely, was the fear of having made a mistake. That I left a blank on my application, or forgot to sign my name. The other part, I realized, was the fear of regret.

But I don't anymore. "Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." I can't keep worrying about hating myself and wanting to take back years of my life because that will just hinder me from truly succeeding at anything. If I let the fear of regret go, then I can be so much more able and sure with what I do.

And I'm pretty sure that's an accurate hypothesis.